Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
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It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize