one word: firstdatebathroomanal
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
