Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
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