We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
