oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
