i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
