So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Randomize
