Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
