just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Ladies don't puke and tell
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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