I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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