i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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