I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
