Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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