i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Randomize
