Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
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