her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
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She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
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