FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
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