I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
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So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
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Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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