That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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