Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I just want to make out with him forever
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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