how hairy? two words: wookie tits
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
You can't just leave with hair like that
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
