Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
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