omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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