This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
