my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
So vagazzling was a success
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
