I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
