no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
