$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
