I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Randomize
