I seem to have left my pride at pride
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
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