I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
