There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Have you finally orgasmed yet?
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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