listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize