we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
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I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
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I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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