Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
