I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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