I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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