2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Randomize
