Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
