I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
