real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
