this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
