Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
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he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
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It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
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