Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Randomize
