And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.