I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space