so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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