It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
