People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
pray to the hookup gods
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
