I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
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