i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
