The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
