i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
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Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
And then he peed in my hair
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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