Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
