don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Randomize
