i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
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