i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Randomize
