Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize