That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
