i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
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