Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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