please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
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