why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Your penis caused this!
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
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