My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
foreskin is a definite game changer
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
