I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
