I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Randomize