Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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