Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Randomize
